Birth thank-you cards: when to send them, who gets one and what to write
A birth thank-you card answers everything that came your way after the birth: the gifts, the visits and the messages. Guides disagree on the timing, from within the first month to several months later. The wording is easier: two to five sentences that name what you were given, mention the baby and end with your names.
Is a thank-you card the same as a birth announcement?
They do different jobs. The announcement tells people the baby has arrived; the thank-you card replies to what they sent back. Whether you need two cards or one is up to you.
The German parenting forum urbia shows how open it is. A parent asked whether to send family and friends a card with a photo, or only thank-you cards for the gifts after a few weeks. The first reply: "Das ist wohl eine Geschmackssache - manche machen es so, andere so" (it is a matter of taste, some do it one way, some the other). A later one answered "Beides zusammen auf einer Karte", both together on one card. That reply described the birth details inside and a line thanking people for their wishes and gifts.
The French card site Faire-part Emotion adds a condition to combining them. It advises against mixing the announcement and the thanks if some of the people close to you have not received the announcement yet, since they would learn of the birth from a thank-you card. In that case it suggests sending the announcement first and a grouped thank-you a few weeks later. If you are still planning the announcement itself, our post on when to send birth announcements and how many to order covers that part.
When should you send birth thank-you cards?
Anywhere from the first month to several months after the birth, depending on whose advice you follow. Four guides, four answers:
| Guide | When to send |
|---|---|
| Rosemood (France) | generally in the month after the birth |
| Kartenmacherei (Germany) | most parents send them about four to eight weeks after the birth |
| Faire-part Emotion (France) | 4 to 10 weeks after the birth is well accepted in practice, especially if you have already sent an announcement |
| Aubert (France) | it is common to send them several months after the birth |
Take the range as permission to take your time. Faire-part Emotion puts it plainly: if you are very tired, a slightly late card is better than a rushed message. Aubert sees an upside in sending late, since it gives you time to capture the baby's first months and add photos taken a few weeks apart.
You can also get ahead of it. The Belgian site Parentia says it is easiest to design the thank-you cards in advance, so that in the first weeks you only add a photo of your little one. Meanwhile, keep a running list of who sent what, because the gift is the detail you will want to name.
Who should get a birth thank-you card?
Everyone who was there for you around the birth. Aubert's guide says it is customary to send one to everyone who supported you from the pregnancy to the birth: people who congratulated you, contributed to your birth list, gave you a personalised gift, visited you at the maternity ward or helped set up the baby's room. It adds that the card generally goes to people close to you, and suggests this list so you forget nobody:
- family: parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins
- friends and acquaintances
- colleagues
- your sports, hobby or club friends
- neighbours
Aubert also says one card per family is enough. And someone who sent no gift can still get one: Faire-part Emotion's advice is to thank them for their message, their call, their visit or the thought.
What do you write in a birth thank-you card?
Faire-part Emotion gives the basic structure: thank them for the gift, the message or the visit, mention the baby if you can, then sign with the parents' names, in two to five sentences. Its sharpest tip is to name the gift: write "thank you for the musical mobile" rather than "thank you for the present" when you can.
You do not need a different text for everyone. Faire-part Emotion advises against writing a unique card for each person if you are sending more than 20, and suggests a shared base text with one sentence changed for the gift, the visit or the person's bond with the baby. Its example adds "the little cardigan will be perfect this winter" for the aunt who knitted it, and that one detail, it says, turns a standard formula into a note truly addressed to its reader. Rosemood recommends fairly general terms such as "délicates attentions" (kind attentions), which suit every kind of gift. It also suggests leaving a blank space under the text to add a handwritten personal word.
One named detail turns a standard thank-you into a note addressed to one person.
A few messages to copy or adapt. Swap in your own names and the actual gift.
For family
Thank you for the beautiful blanket and for all the help in those first weeks. Noor sleeps under it every night, and we sleep a little better knowing you are close by. Love, Sam and Eva
For friends who brought food
Your lasagne got us through week two, and we still talk about it. Thank you for feeding us while we learned to feed him. Come and meet Finn properly soon. Love, Anna and Tom
For colleagues
Thank you all for the lovely gift and your kind messages. Our daughter Lotte arrived safely and is keeping us busy. We look forward to seeing you again. Warm regards, Jess
For someone who visited
Thank you for coming by in those first days and for the flowers. It meant a lot to show Mila off to you. See you soon, Mark and Sophie
Written as if by the baby
Thank you for the soft bunny and for coming to say hello. I hold on to it every nap. Love, Luca (with a little help from Mum and Dad)
The last one follows a Faire-part Emotion tip: a card written in the baby's name ends with "[Name], with help from Mum and Dad". Our guide to birth announcement wording has more openers if your card also announces the birth.
Can one card announce the baby and say thank you?
It can, with Faire-part Emotion's caution from above in mind: anyone who has not heard the news yet would learn it from your thank-you. Our folded A5 card has room for both. The inside right prints the announcement, your baby's name and the details you entered, and the inside left takes your own message of up to 60 words and 400 characters.
A few things about how the message prints:
- Line breaks are joined into spaces, so it prints as one paragraph. Sign it at the end of the text.
- A printed message is the same on every card in the pack, so Rosemood's advice to keep it general fits here. Thank individual gifts in person or by hand.
- The flat A6 postcard prints on its front and back only, with no message panel. For the difference between the two, see folded or flat birth announcement cards.
The cards come in packs of 10, 25, 50 and 100, with one envelope per card. When your list is ready, write your thank-you on the folded card in the card editor and check the preview before you order.