Keeping the baby's name secret until the birth, then revealing it on the card
You can keep your baby's name secret until the birth, and in the Dutch card shop Kaartje2go's 2023 survey of more than 1,700 Dutch people, 86% said they would rather do that. Expect questions and perhaps some hurt relatives. After the birth, call the people closest to you and let the card tell everyone else.
Do most parents keep the baby's name secret?
Most of the people asked want to, going by a survey from a Dutch card shop. Kaartje2go's release of May 2023 says 86% would rather keep the chosen name secret, and that one in ten say they let it slip by accident, for example to family.
Read that with care. Kaartje2go sells birth cards and presents the survey as its own, and its method note gives the sample size and says nothing about how those people were chosen or how many were expecting a baby. The 86% is a wish, too: the release gives no figure for how many kept quiet right up to the birth.
Five real replies look more mixed. Ouders van Nu's dilemma column of May 2026 printed them: one couple kept the name to themselves both times, one parent told close family only, one tells straight away, one told everyone during the pregnancy, and one says to tell people after the birth. Both sources are Dutch, so read them as a Dutch picture. A June 2025 feature by Katie Rosseinsky on AOL says secrecy "seems to have become an increasingly popular option" and gives no figure for it.
Why keep the name secret, and what can it cost?
Other people's opinions are the obvious reason. One colleague Rosseinsky quotes shared some choices with the family during a second pregnancy and called it "a huge mistake": "Everyone therefore thought it was their right to comment or say they hated any name we suggested."
Then there is the fear of losing the name. One in ten respondents in Kaartje2go's survey had a favourite name "stolen" by a relative, friend or acquaintance. In 40% of those cases it was an acquaintance, and in 23% a friend had already picked the same name.
Some parents want room to change their minds. The French parenting site Maman Vogue points out that a name chosen before the birth commits you to nothing, though changing it gets awkward once you have spent months telling everyone. Others wait for a different reason: among the expectant mothers in one group chat the feature describes, some want a healthy baby to arrive before any details go public, especially after a miscarriage or pregnancy loss. And some simply like having it to themselves. Psychotherapist Naomi Magnus told Rosseinsky that "keeping the baby name private can feel like reclaiming a little intimacy".
The costs are real as well. The magazine of the German baby shop Babyartikel.de warns that silence often annoys the people around you, and that friends and relatives can feel left out and even hurt. It also notes that products with a name on them often take a few days to make, so grandparents and godparents who want to order ahead need to know it.
Early feedback has its uses too. The same magazine's author dropped Hippolyta from near the top of the list after nobody close to them could spell or remember it and the nickname "Hippo" came up. In the Ouders van Nu column, one parent says telling only close family turned out well because they all had to get used to the name, and another thinks that presenting it as a fact leaves little room for criticism.
| Who knows before the birth | What you gain | What you give up |
|---|---|---|
| Only the parents | Nobody can comment on a name they have not heard, and you can still change your mind | Relatives may feel left out, and nobody can order a gift with the name ahead of time |
| Close family too | They get time to get used to the name | The secret now depends on more people |
| Everyone | The questions stop, and gifts with the name can be ordered early | You hear the opinions, and the card has no name left to reveal |
If you are unsure, start with the smallest circle you can live with.
A secret can end on any day you choose. A name you have shared stays shared.
How do you keep the name secret until the birth?
Settle on one answer before anyone asks, because the question comes back in disguise. Maman Vogue lists what you can expect if you will not reveal it: what style do you like, will it be classic or original, and, if this is not your first, did you keep the same list? The feature's sample reply will do for all of them: "Well, we've got a list, but we're keeping them quiet for now."
Then keep the name off anything other people can read. That means the nursery wall, anything embroidered or engraved, shared notes and the family group chat. Kaartje2go's example of an accidental slip is family, so those are the conversations to be careful in.
You can try your shortlist on a real design without telling anyone. Our cookie policy says what you type in the editor stays on your device, and that the basket's contents are sent to us when you continue to payment. There is one catch for a secret: the design stays in that browser for up to 30 days after you last changed it, and when the editor is next opened there, a banner reads "Welcome back - we kept your design for Noor." So test on your own phone. If you have used a shared browser, open the editor again and press Start over in that banner, which forgets the design. Remove it from the basket too if you added it there. Our plan for designing the card before the birth covers the rest of the preparation.
If you are still comparing names, our baby name pages say where each one comes from and what it means.
When does the name have to be final?
Birth registration sets that date. In the Netherlands and France the name goes on record when you register the birth, within days of it, and Germany gives you up to a month for the first names.
| Country | Register the birth within | The name |
|---|---|---|
| Netherlands | 3 days after the birth, not counting the day of birth (1 working day longer if that period ends on a Saturday, Sunday or official public holiday, with at least 2 working days in total) | The birth certificate drawn up from the registration states the child's names |
| Germany | One week | If the person reporting cannot give the first names, they must follow within one month |
| France | Generally the 5 days after the day of birth, not counting that day (extended to the next working day if the last day falls on a Saturday, Sunday or public holiday) | The first name is chosen at the declaration |
These deadlines matter most if you are undecided. In Kaartje2go's survey, 33% put the choice off until the last trimester, and for parents still comparing names, "secret" may simply mean there is no name to tell yet.
Can the birth card be the reveal?
For most of your circle, yes. The people you would call straight away will hear first, because a card needs the baby's details before it can be printed and then takes days to reach you.
Our editor does not accept a birth date in the future, so the order waits for the baby. The site's general estimate is nine calendar days from order to doorstep, and the basket shows the date for your cards and country before you pay. Order the day after the birth, take that estimate, and the parcel usually reaches you by day ten. So plan the reveal in two rounds, close people first and the card after:
- Straight after the birth, tell the people closest to you. Call or message them with the name. Babyartikel's advice fits here: tell the most important people personally before it appears on Facebook or Instagram.
- Ask them to keep it to themselves until the cards land, and leave the name out of anything you post yourself.
- Order when the name is final. On the proof you re-type the name exactly as it should be printed and tick a box saying the order will be printed as shown, so the spelling gets a last check.
- Let the card do the rest. The non-photo styles of our folded A5 card all carry the name on the cover, and every pack includes one envelope per card, so the name stays out of sight until the envelope is opened. Our guide to which name goes on the card helps you choose the one that leads.
If you want the words to mention the secret, the folded card's inside left takes a message of up to 60 words and 400 characters. The flat A6 card has only a front and a back, so it has no message panel. Three lines to adapt:
We kept it to ourselves until now. Meet Noor.
You asked, we kept quiet. Here is the name we were saving: Noor.
The secret is out: our little one is called Noor.
Our post on when to send birth announcements covers the timing once the parcel is in. To see how your shortlist looks before anyone else does, type the names into the card editor on a device only you use.